It's like Forest Bathing, but in an eggplant garden, tended to by silent gnomes.

Eggplants — variegated, Japanese, long and thin, squat and round, clumped in groups of 2 or 3 or all alone—eggplants in every color of eggplant there is.. John pondered them all, as he silently lay still amongst them, and he noticed the gnomes didn't talk and didn't sing as they watered their precious plants.

Tom froze, his afternoon reverie tucked among the rows of variegated eggplants evaporating, as two dead-eyed gnomes came into sight watering the turgid fruits. His only hope was to blend in.

It felt like a dream; little Samuel stood stock still, pantsless, praying feverishly that the coal-eyed gnomes wouldn't discover him among the eggplants they were watering.

Bill and Ted remained stoic, but behind those expressionless bearded faces, their souls were dark. It was SO MUCH WORK being a giant garden gnome during the growing season! Bill kept watch with his trident while Ted watered the eggplants and humanplants.

Bill and Ted appraised their work, looming over the freshly watered soil, satisfied that no one would find the bodies buried beneath the eggplant garden.

Evil Bill and Ted hatched a totally bogus plan – after pushing Good Bill and Ted off a cliff and killing them, they buried their bodies in their garden to fertilize their new crop of eggplants. "Excellent!," cried Evil Bill. "I'm totally going to text the princesses now to tell them they're eating eggplant for dinner tonight, if you know what I mean!" "Totally evil!," cried Evil Ted.